Success, is it even a thing?
I hear a lot of people talking about this thing success, but what is it? Is it a destination?
What truly makes a successful person?
Money, Fame, Big house, Nice Motor?
I started something called Success School. It is about teaching people what I believe to be Success… Happiness.
I decided to park the name and that exact programme for a little bit. The reason? I don’t think a lot of people are quite ready for the work ,that is truly required to be what they believe success to be.
People have an idea of where they want to go in life, but usually they want a quick fix. Some magic pill or advice that will instantly change their life without any work. That is no disrespect to anyone who ever attended my workshops. Some came and really applied their self and I know they are reaping the very rewards today.
I do believe you can achieve what you set your mind to but is achieving something.. Success?
In my personal experience, any areas of my life which have been what people would deem some what successful, have required a staggering amount of hard work, dedication, sacrifice and setbacks.
I have had many highs and many lows through out my life.
Today I want to focus on some of those highs for the purpose of the blog.
Some highs which stand out; the birth of my daughter, meeting my partner and gaining a step son, being a professional rugby player, owning multiple homes, meeting Prince Charles at his home, starting the biggest mental health movement on the planet and being part of an amazing family.
With all those things in mind and none are to brag what so ever, I will come back to them soon and all will be come clearer.
Ill be happy when…
Another reason for parking success school for a while was I wanted to delve further in to what success is but also what the one thing I believe success is… happiness.
Here is another question, I seem to be full of them tonight…
Is happiness a destination?
I hear a lot of people saying; Ill be happy when…. and then they achieve that and realise it maybe wasn’t what they thought it was going to be and then it goes again; Ill be happy when….
Lets look at it, most people will of had similar experiences and be able to relate to this I would imagine..
Ill be happy when… I pass my GCSE’s and leave school,
then Ill be happy when… I get in to uni or my first job,
then Ill be happy when… I pass my driving test,
then Ill be happy when… I meet my dream partner,
then its a two person things so we’ll be happy when… we buy out first house,
then we’ll be happy when… we have kids,
then we’ll be happy when we have holidays,
then we’ll be happy when… kids at school…. the list could go on.
The unknown destination
I see this more and more, a constant need of people for a new destination, more money, a better car, a better job or more possessions. Yet, when they get there or acquire those things, they are still none the happier. I think this constant want creates anxieties, pressures, stress and at time depression.
All four of which are the complete opposite to the emotion we are discussing here in the blog.. Happiness.
Did I just say that?
Happiness is an emotion. Shit! Maybe in there lies a clue to what this is all about…
Lets start to answer some questions from above to help us:
Is happiness a destination?
No, its an emotion. It is is not a place, a destination or a possession.
Life is always changing and so are our emotions. I don’t believe anyone can be happy all the time and should never want to be. If you wanted to be happy all the time you would never be happy because no one is ever happy all the time. Thats a mind boggle isn’t it ha! Life to me is about learning to control your emotions, which isn’t easy for anyone. It takes hard work, dedication, sacrifice and setbacks. They look familiar don’t they?
A Peaceful Mind
A peaceful mind and a content life comes down to a few things for me. Learning to appreciate more and expect less. Learning to control your mind and thoughts. Learning that nothing last forever, everything changes. Couple key points is these last few sentences; Learning being a vital one.
Learning is essential. Learning to the mind is what food and water are to the body. If you stop feeding a plant it dies, just like the mind.. you stop feeding it, its going to die. With that in mind, pick up a book, listen to a tape or have a conversation with someone who knows the area you want to learn more about.
So then, What is Success? Its The Journey
Success is a journey. Its about enjoying the ride, learning from your mistakes and setbacks and using them to be a better human being. Success isn’t money, cars or possessions. It is about enjoying the journey with those you love most. With everything in mind then lets go back to what I said I would come back to. Lets look back at some of the highest I mentioned; pro rugby, meeting Prince Charles and starting a global movement. Yes, all amazing experiences at the time but as mentioned above life is always moving and changing and none were a destination. They were bus stops on the continued journey of life.
Never ever think, that getting somewhere or achieving something is going to make you happy long term. Short term it will give you hit, you will ride the emotion of happiness like surfing a big wave. But, like a wave it ends. Once you start to understand this and realise this, you start to get control. You start to appreciate the little things, that are actually the big things. You understand the need for goals but more importantly who you will become in the process. You will start to control your thoughts and emotion. You will be a more content you.
Project Bee You
This leads on beautifully as a conclusion. I decided more people needed to take things inside and work on them, as opposed to looking outside. The the job intern not external. Thats why I have launched Project Bee You. The project is all about getting people to be comfortable in themselves, teaching them to appreciate more and expect less, teaching them to control their mind and thoughts and teaching them that nothing last forever and everything changes. That they can adapt and be apart of that change or stagnate.
Project Bee You section of my website will be launched soon, where I will be doing lots of webinars, workshops and an exclusive members area to bounce ideas and have an environment to learn and grow! You can learn more about my journal by clicking: BEE YOU Journal which is a key part of the project and helping people to get control of their mind and life.
Hope you liked this blog and you will drop me feedback. Blogging is still new to me and as the above says; its about the journey not the destination. I am always looking to learn and grow myself, so any feedback or critique will be appreciated 🙂